


Availeth Much

by Regalredstar



Series: The Damned Book... [2]
Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett, Supernatural
Genre: Bible, Biblical Scripture References (Abrahamic Religions), Not Beta Read
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-01
Updated: 2021-03-01
Packaged: 2021-03-14 06:54:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 775
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29788110
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Regalredstar/pseuds/Regalredstar
Summary: Crowley was sure that they had to be joking. He could not be the one in the room who knew the Damned Book the best, right? Right?
Series: The Damned Book... [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2113152
Comments: 1
Kudos: 19





	Availeth Much

**Author's Note:**

> And we're back! This is the promised James 5:26 story. This story takes place pre-The Greatest of These, and the two stories can be read in whatever order you like. They share a universe, but that's it.

“Forgive my asking,” Crowley did not sound like he was asking for forgiveness. That was okay though, because he really didn’t feel the need to ask for it anyway, it wasn’t his fault if they were all being idiots.. “But has Dean tried praying?”

As one Dean, Sam, and Castiel turned to stare at the demon.

“Why, exactly should I try praying?” Dean sounded pissed. “It might have escaped your notice, but I’m not exactly the praying type. Especially not lately.”

“You’re the Righteous Man.” Crowley’s voice implied that this should be the only explanation needed.

In response he got three blank looks. 

“And how exactly would that lead to Dean praying?”

“It’s in the book, right there, in black and white.” Back to blank stares. 

Crowley tried not to laugh. They couldn’t be serious, “Don’t tell me I know the damned book better than you lot! I’m on the side of the devils, if you’ll recall!”

“Damned book?” Sam let his confusion show. “What book? Some sort of spellbook?”

“Spell book?” Crowley all but choked. This was not happening. Please someone, tell him that this was not happening. “I’m not talking about some random old spell book. I’m talking about THE BOOK.”

“What book?” Dean sounded as exasperated as Crowley felt. Pity that their exasperations were at cross-purposes.

“THE BOOK! The Sword of the Spirit , sharper than any double edged blade! That which is G-d-breathed! For hell’s sake, there’s a copy of it in that drawer!” Crowley gestured toward the nightstand between the two beds.

Sam pulled open the drawer. The familiar blue faux-leather cover of the Gideon Bible appeared. “You mean the Bible?”

“Yes! What other damned book would I be talking about?” Lucifer forgive him for ever thinking the Moose was smart. Clearly he had as few brains as the Squirrel did.

“But the Bible isn’t damned. In fact it’s kind of the exact opposite.” Strike that, At least the Moose had logic skills. Dean apparently didn’t even have that.

“Dean.” Crowley gave a put-upon sigh. “This may have escaped your notice, but I am a demon. Does it not then follow that that which is holy to you do-gooders might be damned to me, and vice-versa?”

“Oh. Right. But what exactly does this have to do with you telling me to pray?” Crowley was pretty sure that the petulant anger was just to cover the embarrassment that the human felt at ignoring the bloody obvious.

Crowley gentled his voice. With beings this stupid you sometimes had to lead them where you wanted them to go. “Righteous Man isn’t just a fancy description Dean. It comes with real power.”

“Wait! Are you talking about how I’m expected to let Michael wear me like a meat suit and lead an army of angels to fight the armies of hell?” And of course Dean jumped to exactly the wrong conclusion. And of course that was the conclusion that made him even angrier.

“No. Leading men into battle basically necessitates them being willing to die for you and that seldom happens. At least not for Righteous Men.” Out of the corner of his eye, Crowley spotted Sam flipping through the Bible. “What you’re looking for is in James, not Romans.”

“James 5:26.” Sam’s brain had apparently decided to start working. That was good. Maybe it meant that something might actually get done. “But would that work? The first seal broke, is he still…” Sam’s voice trailed off as he turned to face Castiel.

“Breaking the first seal is irrelevant. Dean is still the righteous man, even if he is no longer in hell.” It was hard to tell, but Crowley got the definite impression that Castiel was pissed. Possibly at him. Probably at him. 

“So he should still be able to do it?” Sam sounded almost eager. But then, the kid seemed drawn to the more esoteric areas of their world.

“It may work. I cannot say with any degree of certainty.” And yes. The Angel was definitely pissed. Apparently he didn’t like the implication that Crowley knew more scripture than he did. Best to get out while he could.

“And that’s my cue to leave.” Crowley was at the exit before any of the others could make a move to stop him. “Moose, Squirrel, Angel. I’d say it’s been a pleasure, but well…” Crowley waved his hand vaguely. “Call me if you need any more Bible knowledge.” And with that Crowley disappeared. As he vanished, he could swear that he heard the Angel give a nearly inaudible, barely articulate howl of rage.

_ The prayer of a righteous man availeth much. - James 5:26  _

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> AN: So Crowley decided to really let the scripture rip in this one, didn’t he? Seriously though, when I let the four of them start talking I quickly realized that of the four beings in the room the one with the largest amount of Biblical knowledge was Crowley (when asked he blamed Aziraphale, and his collection of various Biblical editions).  
> Oh and for those who don’t know the “Gideon Bible” refers to a Bible from The Gideons International. The Gideons are an organization that for over 100 years has provided hotels around the world with free Bibles to be left in every guest room. Not every hotel has Gideon Bibles, but somewhere between 60% and 70% of the hotel rooms in American still contain one, and smaller motels like those Dean and Sam frequent almost certainly do.  
> The next of these stories is already being written. It’s a silly little thing (well maybe not so little seeing as how it seems to be determined to develop a plot) that takes place during the year between S5 and S6. It’s called The Voice of the Turtle, and will be posted on April 1.  
> If you have any suggestions for other Bible verses that you’d like to see stories built around, drop them in the comments.


End file.
